Chapter 3: The Rules
Guess what!!?! Guess what!!?!
On Friday, Lucille's nanna called my mother!
And she invited me to spend the night with Lucille on Saturday!
And Mother didn't even say no!
My feet zoomed all around the house when I heard that!
"I'M SPENDIN' THE NIGHT! I'M SPENDIN' THE NIGHT! I'M SPENDIN' THE NIGHT!" I shouted.
I zoomed into my baby brother Ollie's room.
"HEY, OLLIE! I'M SPENDIN' THE NIGHT! I'M SPENDIN' THE NIGHT! I'M SPENDIN' THE -- "
Just then, Mother runned in the door and she swished me right out of there.
It was not pleasant.
I brushed myself off.
"Yeah, only you shouldn't actually swish people," I said kind of quiet.
Mother raised her voice at me.
"How many times, Junie B.? How many times have I told you to stay out of Ollie's room while he's sleeping? Huh? How many?"
I thinked for a minute.
"A million bazillion," I said. "But that is just a ballpark figure."
Mother glared at me very mad.
I rocked back and forth on my feet.
"A ballpark figure is when you don't know the actual figure. And so you make up a figure. 'Cause that will get people off your back," I explained. "My boyfriend named Ricardo told me that. His father sells insurance, I believe."
Mother tapped her angry foot.
"We are not talking about Ricardo's father, Junie B. We are talking about going into Ollie's room while he's sleeping. And besides, I haven't said that you could spend the night at Lucille's I want to talk it over with your father first."
I hugged her leg.
"Please, Mother? Please? Please? I'll be good. I promise, I promise, I -- "
Just then the front door opened.
It was my Daddy!
He was home from work!
I runned to him like a speedy rocket.
Then I hugged his leg, too. And he couldn't even shake me off.
"I'll be good, Daddy! I promise! I promise! I promise!"
All of a sudden, Mother swished me away again. She put me down in the living room.
Then she and Daddy did whispering in the hall.
And guess what?
They said I could go to Lucille's!!!
"YIPPEE! YIPPEE! YIPPEE!" I shouted.
After that, I started to zoom some more. But Daddy quick grabbed me by my belt.
"Yeah, only here's the problem. I'm not actually zooming," I told him.
"No... here's the problem," said Daddy. "Before you spend the night with Lucille, you have to agree to the rules."
I raised up my eyebrows.
"Rules?" I asked. "There's rules involved?"
"Lots of rules," said Daddy.
Then he and Mother bended down next to me. And they told me the rules of spending the night.
They are: No running, no jumping, no shouting, no squealing, no hollering, no snooping, no spying, no arguing, no fighting, no cheating at games, no talking back to the nanna, no breaking other people's toys, no grumping, no crying, no fibbing, no tickling people when they say no, no staying up late, and absolutely no head-butting.
After I heard the rules, I did a sigh.
"Yeah, only that doesn't actually leave me much to work with," I said.
Mother ruffled my hair.
"Sorry, kiddo. But that's the deal," she said. "Take it or leave it."
"Take it!" I shouted out. "I'll take the deal!"
Then I kissed Mother and Daddy on their cheeks.
And I hugged them very tight.
And they couldn't shake me off again.
From the Trade Paperback edition.